Transformers: All for One Flash Fictions
by SingingFlames
Summary: Flash Fan Fictions set in my All for One series. These ficlets mainly focus on the Command Trine (Starscream, Thundercracker, Skywarp), but other characters may pop up. No pairings. No OCs. Each ficlet is a stand alone story. I'll raise the rating if need be.
1. Roles

_Series Note - I plan on doing several of these Flash Fan Fictions, and the Transformers ones that could conceivably fit into my All for One series I plan on collecting here (since they're too short to be a chapter in the main series). They'll probably be mostly humor, but I may throw in other genres as well. We'll see. :)_

Title: Roles  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This is a Flash Fan Fiction Friday entry, for the theme "household." Coming up with a 300 word Transformers story, incorporating the word "household" was a unique challenge. Word count: 296.

* * *

The distant sound of squabbling floated into the lab, growing steadily louder. Starscream grimaced. He recognized the voices. Of course those idiots couldn't possible leave him alone. They certainly weren't down here to pursue any scientific interests. One didn't have the desire, the other the mental capabilities.

The lab door snicked open.

"'Warp, just don't!"

"It's funny!"

Starcream glared at his trine mates. Thundercracker clutched at Skywarp's arm, attempting to pull him back. The Air Commander narrowed his optics. He joined the conversation, "No, it's not."

"Ah, c'mon, Screamer! You don't even know what we're talking about!"

"Don't call me that! And it involves you. It's not funny."

Thundercracker hid his smirk, releasing his trine brother. "You heard him. Let's go."

"Just listen! I've been thinking–"

"Never a good thing," Starscream said.

"Shuddup. Anyway, human families live together in a household, and they have standard roles in those groups. Well, we're like a family. We could fill out those roles." Skywarp grinned, glancing between his wing mates. Thundercracker covered his optics. "TC keeps us together, breaks up fights, so he could be the 'mother'–"

"I hate you sometimes," Thundercracker muttered.

"–and I'm the fun loving 'dad,' who likes to tell jokes and go out with 'the guys.' And … and, uh, why are you pointing that at me?"

Starscream considered Skywarp over the barrel of his null-ray. The weapon hummed to life. "Please continue. What am I?"

"Nothing. I hadn't gotten that far." Skywarp shrugged. "But TC was so upset, I thought it was funny."

"You shouldn't think. You don't do it well." The Air Commander lowered his weapon and turned away.

"But you sure make a perfect grumpy grandfather no one wants around."


	2. Interpersonal Skills

Title: Interpersonal Skills  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: The Seekers discuss a run-in with a pair of infamous twins. This is a Flash Fan Fiction Friday entry, for the theme "Provoked." I tried something new with this; I didn't use any dialogue tags. Or anything but dialogue. I'm hoping the readers will be able to pick up on who's who. Word count: 262

* * *

"I don't know why you two're so upset."

"Really, 'Warp? No idea?"

"They're called the 'Twin Terrors' for a reason. They were gonna attack us anyway, TC."

"You provoked them. Deliberately."

"Nuh-uh. I merely commented on their choice of paint colors."

"You compared Sunstreaker's yellow to the slime trail of an Altrectian mud slug."

"He took it completely wrong. Those trails are quite lustrous."

"And Sideswipe's paint is 'like the external digestive juices of Xess'an night beast.'"

"Yeah? That red glop is actually quite brilliant and shiny. I don't know why they both got so upset."

"Gee, you compare them to slime and bile, and wonder why they don't like it."

"Those two are just overly sensitive."

"Will you two shut up? It's bad enough I have to fly in this condition. I don't wish to add audio torture to my list of pains."

"Apparently, the twins aren't the only sensitive ones. Y'know, Screamer, you're not the only one who got judoed."

"Don't call me that!"

"My point, 'Warp, is maybe we might not have been 'judoed' so vigorously if you hadn't opened that mouth of yours."

"This is Skywarp you're discussing. He is incapable of _not_ opening his mouth."

"Maybe you should try shutting yours, Screamer!"

"Do. _Not._ Call. Me. That!"

"Again, 'Warp, if you could control your vocalizer, you'd get in less trouble. Honestly, you have the interpersonal skills of Grimlock."

"Hey! Well, at least that's still better than Screamer."


	3. Usefulness

Title: Transformers: Usefulness  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: Thundercracker and Starscream discuss the usefulness of their third trine member. This is my Flash Fan Fiction for the theme of "despite." Word count: 292

* * *

"Admit it."

"There is nothing to admit."

Thundercracker sighed. "He is somewhat useful."

"He is frustrating, annoying, inane, ignorant, juvenile, impossible to deal with, idiotic, a complete waste of resources and space–"

"Wow. You could have just said 'stupid' and I'd have figured out what you meant."

"I was making a point." Starscream waved a hand in a casual dismissal.

"Despite that, he does have his uses. Like his teleportation. You've taken advantage of that."

"His unique skill also causes a lot of his troubles. And my processor aches."

"And yet, after all that and your numerous threats, you haven't actually terminated him. You must see some value in him," the blue Seeker reminded his trine leader.

"He is exceptionally good at teleporting clear of my aim."

"You've shot him. Several times. Haven't offlined him yet."

Starscream threw his arms up in frustration. "What's your point?"

"Would you just admit he has some use?"

"You should remember this is a militaristic society. The leader doesn't answer to his subordinates. Subordinates follow orders. That's all."

"Really?" Thundercracker leaned against the wall, smirking.

The Air Commander paused, reprocessing what he'd just said. "Unless, of course, the leader is a megalomaniac gunformer who is completely incompetent and incapable of leading anyone. In that event, the subordinates follow the Second in Command."

Laughing, Thundercracker shook his head. Once he quieted, he said, "You should respect him more."

"Who, Megatron?"

"No. Well, yes, him too, but experience has proven you won't, so I'll leave that one alone. I mean Skywarp. He really is useful, even if you won't admit it."

"You're right."

"I am?"

"Yes. I won't admit that."


	4. Bored

Title: Transformers: Boredom  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: Starscream must deal with a bored Skywarp, much to his chagrin. This is my Flash Fan Fiction (the theme was to _exclude_ the word "in" – kinda tricky to do, actually). Word count: 280

"All for One" update: The next chapter of my "All for One" series (titled "War") is done. I just need to edit it, and I will post it in (hopefully) a week or so.

* * *

"Go away."

"How'd you know I was here?"

Starscream clenched his fists. "You're not that sneaky. And this is my lab. Go away."

"But I'm lonely, Screamer. TC's injured and Hook kicked me out of the repair bay." Skywarp crossed his arms, shoulders hunched.

"Not my concern. Your presence here, now, is my concern. Now, go! And don't call me that!"

"I'm bored! No one wants me around."

"That's never bothered you before. Nor does it appear to bother you now, given my repeated statements telling you to leave. Which you're ignoring. Repeatedly." The Air Commander paused, thinking. He held up one finger. "Wait. You said Hook kicked you out? You're listening to him, but not to me?"

"Well, yeah. It's Hook. You're just, well, you."

"Excuse me?" Starscream narrowed his optics.

"Well, you'd just shoot me and then Hook would fix me. But if I annoy Hook, the Constructicons would slag me, and then what medic would to fix me?"

"I am your commanding officer, your trine leader–"

"Exactly. We're trine." Skywarp's wings slumped. "I miss TC. Don't you?"

"He'll be fixed shortly. There's no reas– _don't play with that!_"

Skywarp froze, then carefully returned a beaker of viscous liquid to it's stand. "What's that?"

"It's a highly unstable, and explosive, compound. Please refrain from blowing us up!"

"Oh. Megatron lets you have explosives?"

"Of course not."

"But … you have it?"

"Of course."

"And he knows…?"

"Of course not."

"But–" Skywarp began.

"I do miss Thundercracker." Starscream shook his head. "He would have caught on much sooner."


	5. Interior Decorating

Title: Interior Decorating  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This is my Flash Fan Fiction for the emotion theme of "Festive." We didn't need to include the actually word, just the mood. I'm not sure I really succeeded. This is more in preparation for a festive time. Word count: 290

* * *

"You said I could!"

"No, I said if you insisted on this idiocy, to take it far away from me," Starscream growled. "At no point did I give you permission to steal my paint."

"Or mine," Thundercracker chimed in.

"The storage bays aren't close to you at all. And, really, how could we have a party down here without livening up the place? Admit it, it's better looking. Fun." Skywarp gestured to the walls proudly.

Only half painted, the walls were splashed with a myriad of colors, including white, blue, red, purple, green and random other shades. A few were bunched together, in what may have been an attempt at shapes.

Thundercracker pointed at one of the indeterminable shapes. "What're those supposed to be?"

"Palm trees. Humans have them in some of their parties, and we're on Earth, so it works."

"Oh, yes, looking at indigenous botanical lifeforms truly makes me want to 'party.'" Starscream snorted. "I'm taking my paint back."

"You, uh, don't want that can, Screamer."

"Don't call me that! And why not?"

"I tried mixing some of the colors. Guess what you get when you mix red and white?"

"You didn't." Starscream regarded the can with disgust. "We're Decepticons. We don't do pink."

"I didn't use it!"

Thundercracker held his hand out. "I'll take it."

"Why do you want it?"

"Do you really want to leave 'Warp with pink paint?"

"Please take this."

"What would I do with – oh, hey, can I have that?"

"No," both Seekers answered in unison.

Skywarp glared for a moment, then turned back to the work table. He smiled. "That's okay. I'll manage … somehow."


	6. One Day

Title: Transformers: One Day  
Universe: G1 (pre-war)  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: Angst  
Author's Note: Three young Seekers, fresh from the Military Academy, find the world is not what they were hoping. Set before the Great War, shortly after Starscream, Thundercracker and Skywarp leave the Academy. This is for LiteraryFanFiction's Flash Fan Fiction Friday theme of "firsts." It should be fairly obvious what the 'first' is. This is _not _one of my normal humor fics. I present you with one of my few serious fics (perhaps my first serious one in the AfO series - aha, another first!). Word count: 265.

* * *

"You okay there, TC?"

Thundercracker heard Skywarp, but didn't acknowledge his new trine mate. His optics remained fixed on the still form before him.

"Forget him," the teleporter said, carefully not looking at the grayed body. "You had to do it. It's what we trained for. We're not in the Academy anymore."

The blue Seeker turned abruptly to face Skywarp. "We trained to protect Cybertron, to fight our enemies. Look at him! He was starving! I didn't train to kill starving mechs!"

"He was stealing energon. And he attacked us."

"After we confronted him!"

"It's our job." Skywarp shrugged.

"To kill starving mechs?"

"No," Starscream answered from where he stood across the room, "our job is to follow orders. And protect each other. I will _not_ lose another partner."

"Trine. We're trine, not partners." Skywarp tilted his head in confusion.

Grimacing, their trine leader turned away. "Yes, I know."

"Those orders are wrong," Thundercracker muttered.

"And stealing is wrong," Starstream replied. "If you must blame someone, blame the Senate. It's their greediness that's starving the lower castes."

"Nothing we can do." Skywarp shrugged. "So, don't worry about it."

"It's just that … that I've never …," the blue Seeker paused, gesturing at the body. He shook his head.

"Just let it go. One day, we'll have lots of great, worthy battles. Glory. Excitement. All the stuff they talk about in the Academy. You won't even remember this." The teleporter patted his trine mate's back.

"Yeah. Sure. One day …" Thundercracker grimaced.


	7. Free Time

Title: Free Time  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This flash fan fiction is my take on the belated Valentine's Day theme of "Love." It didn't have to be romantic love, thankfully. There are two different types of 'love' in this (or at least I tried to show that). Can you figure out what they are? Word count: 300

* * *

"You just know you can't beat me."

"Don't be absurd. I'm the fastest flying creation on this miserable planet. Cybertron too. I'd have no problems out flying the likes of you," Starscream scoffed.

After an uneventful patrol, Skywarp had grown restless. His trine mates, also bored, had not protested when he suggested they shift their route towards an immense canyon. (Thundercracker could have told them about the Grand Canyon, had they asked. Neither had.) As they approached, Skywarp's true intentions came out.

"C'mon, you two. When was the last time we had a good race? Unless you know I'll win?"

"No racing."

"We agree, then," Skywarp said, smug, "I'm the best flier here." As the Air Commander protested, Skywarp banked sharply into the canyon. "Sorry, Screamer! Can't hear you!"

"Don't call – get back here!" Starscream kicked on his afterburners, dashing in pursuit.

Thundercracker briefly considered the twin thrusters racing away. Slaggit. He dived after them.

Chortling, the teleporter led them through the canyon, each Seeker skimming the rocks, cutting every curve. In a straight flight, Starscream could outrace either of them. But here, twisting and turning, he lost the advantage.

The wind rushed past them. It carried away their concerns: their bickering, thoughts of their volatile leader or their enemies. All that mattered was the thundering air, the quick turns, the split-second crash-diverting decisions. Skywarp led them until Starscream flew above the canyon and burst ahead. Loudly protesting, the teleporter employed his own gifts, but limited visibility – mainly his trine leader's afterburners in his nosecone – kept him from warping back into the lead.

Thundercracker laughed at their antics. He couldn't remember the last time the trine had simply enjoyed a good flight, even if it involved Starscream cheating (when didn't he?).


	8. Important Things

Title: Important Things  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This is for Flash Fan Fiction theme of 'A New POV.' The point was to write from a character's POV that we rarely or never have written before. I chose Skywarp's. Word count: 263

* * *

"_You did it again," Thundercracker said, his vocals laced with worry. "Slaggit, 'Warp. You know what the medics said."_

"_Yeah, yeah, I know." Skywarp glanced around the empty Academy corridor. "I also know that we were surrounded and losing that exercise. If I hadn't teleported, we'd have lost. Instead, we're the highest marked trine."_

"_It's just a score."_

"Now_, it's just a score. We're training for combat. On the field, there's no low marks. No second best. There's just survivors and empty shells. I won't let that be us."_

"_Teleporting's dangerous."_

"_Just because every other teleporter has fried their processor, or warped themselves into a wall, doesn't mean I'm going to. Look at me. I'm better at spacial physics than you, almost better than Starscream. Does that sound like my processor's degenerating to you?"_

"_Promise me you'll monitor your internal functioning? Any fluctuation, any decrease, and you'll stop teleporting."_

_Skywarp clenched his fists, glancing aside. His processor's functionality had declined recently, but only by 1.02 %. Hardly worth noting. And certainly not worth mentioning. He nodded._

"_I promise."_

Skywarp onlined his optics. Weird. He'd just experience a memory playback during his recharge cycle. As he tried to grasp it, it faded to mere fragments. He vaguely remembered Thundercracker and himself talking about … what? It had seemed important.

He shrugged it off and rose.

He needed to get an early start. Today, he had a great prank to pull on the Constructicons, and he couldn't do that from his berth. This was important, after all.


	9. A Moment of Peace

Title: Transformers: A Moment of Peace  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: Thundercracker tries to find a moment of peace. This is for Flash Fan Fiction Friday's theme of 'Silence.' The word didn't have to be in the fic, so I did my best to imply it without actually saying 'silence.' Word count: 265

* * *

"Hey, TC!" the cheerful voice called out. "Why are you way out here?"

Thundercracker grimaced. So much for his moment of peace. Refusing to look at his wing mate, he kept his optics focused below, at the immense peaks jutting up through the cloud layer (one of which he currently occupied). "What are you doing here, 'Warp?"

"I was looking for you. I checked your room. I checked the mess hall. I checked all over the base. You weren't anywhere. I finally went outside, and you're way the frag out here with, what? A big pile of rocks? Why?"

"Mountains. And because I wanted quiet."

"You could've just gone to your quarters. That's what you normally do."

"Where did you first look for me?"

"Your room."

"My point exactly." Thundercracker gestured around them. "Look at these mountains. These formations have stood here for countless vorns, barely changing. They're constantly battered by wind, solar radiation, planetary precipitation, and yet they stay standing. The tectonic plates shift, and yes they move, but they're not destroyed. There's strength here, for those who care to see it." The blue Seeker shrugged, not sure how to vocalize what he felt here, perched amongst these ancient natural structures. "It's humbling."

The two fliers stood, gazing out over the peaks. In the distance, a human plane tracked a line a vapor across the sky. Wind raced and whistled over the snow. No other sound disturbed them. Below them, the sea of clouds flowed its endless course.

"Wow, TC. That's … boring. They're just rocks."


	10. Confusion

Title: Confusion  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This is my flash fan fiction for the theme 'Precious.' I had several ideas for this theme, but all the others petered out. My apologies if this one isn't up to my normal standards; I'm fighting (yet another) head cold. I'm pretty sure I don't have to explain what they're discussing. Word count: 298

* * *

"I don't get it."

"Why did you even watch that?" Thundercracker shook his head. He glanced around the mess hall, loosely clasping his energon ration.

"It's popular," Skywarp replied with a shrug.

"With the humans, not us."

His trine mate shrugged again. "It didn't make any sense. None of it."

"It's a movie. It's all made up. And, let's not forget, by humans. Of course it didn't make sense."

"Did you see how they were dressed? And some of them were really furry."

"Beards, not fur."

Skywarp rested his chin in his palm, optics unfocused. "That's a lot of hair."

"Dear Primus, tell me he's not trying to think," a high-pitched voice interrupted their exchange.

"Hey, Screamer."

"Don't call me that!" Starscream bit out. Holding his cube in one hand and a data reader in the other, the Air Commander joined them.

"'Trying' is the optimal word," Thundercracker answered his trine leader. Knowing Starscream's intolerance for anything human-made, and Skywarp's blissful ignorance to that intolerance, he decided to finish the conversation. "Just forget it, 'Warp. Fixate on something else."

The purple and black Seeker tossed a thoughtful glance at his wing mate. He pointed at Thundercracker. "What's up with that thin, gold washer? And why would a human put that on their finger?"

"What?" Starscream asked.

"Exactly my point! It doesn't make sense." Skywarp held arms wide in exasperation.

Thundercracker covered his optics. "When I said that, I didn't mean go from dwarves to the Ring."

The Air Commander stared blankly at them. "I ask again, what?"

"Worse," the purple Seeker said, pointing at his trine leader, "there's some skinny, big-eyed human that calls the washer, 'my precious.' It doesn't make sense!"

"_What?_"


	11. Musing

Title: Transformers: Musing  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: Thundercracker and Skywarp discuss possible reasons for one of their trine leader's well-known habits. This flash fan fiction is for the theme 'rush.' Yay, life has calmed down enough that I can get back to writing (at least a little). Word count: 297

* * *

"Have you ever wondered why he does it?"

Thundercracker loved his jet form. Truly. But it did have some drawbacks. For instance, the inability to glare at his trine mate when he blurted out random thoughts. Doing his best to convey a glare through his vocals, he said, "Why do you do that? I'm not a telepath. What are you talking about?"

"Starscream."

"That's a start. Now, how about you add an action to your statement?"

"Attacking Megatron all the time. Why does he do that?"

Thundercracker decelerated as he pretended to ponder the question. "Hmm, well, I believe he mentioned his dissatisfaction with Megatron's leadership one or two … _thousand_ times. That might have something to do with it. One might accuse him of hating our leader. Maybe."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But plenty of Decepticons don't like Megs, and a lot of them wanna be leader, but they don't run out and keep attacking him. You get what I'm saying?"

"You're really stuck on this, aren't you?"

"Stay with me. Starscream's smart. He's the smartest mech I know. Yet even _I've_ figured out that shooting Megs in the back is a really bad idea. Not Screamer. He keeps doing it. Why?"

"Maybe he's betting that he's more useful alive than terminated?"

"Maybe. Or," Skywarp paused dramatically, "he wants the thrill."

"What?"

"Think about it. He's the fastest Seeker, the most agile. The best. He can out fly anyone. Where's the challenge? The excitement? The rush?"

Thundercracker thought over it. "I dunno, 'Warp. I wouldn't consider having my wings ripped off 'exciting.'"

"The danger makes it exciting."

"It's possible. But I think I'll stick with the, 'he just hates Megatron _that much_' theory."

* * *

Afterword: This isn't as humorous as some of the others, but it does contain an interesting theory that occurred to me. I wouldn't consider it _likely_, but possible, yes. Of course, being an author I can't just come out and state this theory. Nope. I stuck it into a fic. And I'll do that again. I have another theory that I'm just waiting for a theme that fits it to write about. *glares at the random word generator*


	12. Dissension

Title: Transformers: Dissension  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: Frenzy and Rumble discuss their most recent escapade and punishment. This is for the theme "dissension." I almost wrote about Starscream, but that just seemed too obvious. I wanted to try for something less apparent. (I actually finished this one a couple weeks ago, but somehow forgot to upload it. Whoops.) Word count: 295

* * *

"This is completely unfair!" Frenzy moaned.

"It's uncalled for, that's what it is," Rumble chimed in.

"Completely!"

"The Boss has no sense of humor."

"Would it kill him to crack a smile?" Frenzy said, pouting. "It was funny!"

The two mischievous Cassettes stared, gloomily, at the monitors, just as they had been doing for nineteen solar cycles straight. Truly, an absurdly long punishment, and highly disproportionate to their offense. They merely added some paint remover to the cleaning solution in the washracks. The cleaner diluted the paint remover. Instead of dissolving paint, it lightened it by several shades. Even better, it took almost half a solar cycle to take effect. The end result had several Decepticons performing their normal duties, while slowly turning into pastel versions of themselves.

"Exactly!" Rumble agreed. "I didn't see a problem with it. Thrust, in particular, was stunning."

"Agreed. I was stunned. Pink is definitely his color."

Slapping his hands down in frustration, Rumble said, "Y'know what? I'm sick of being pushed around."

"Me too."

"Enough is enough! I say we tell the Boss, we've had it!"

Frenzy nodded. "We're not gonna take this kinda treatment any more!"

"Time to take a stand!"

"Yeah! Let's walk right up to the Boss, and tell him, no more!"

The door slid open, revealing the silent form of Soundwave. Surprised, the brothers exchanged glances as the telepath moved forward. He spoke.

"Query: you desired to speak with me?"

"Uh, nope," Rumble said.

"Nuh-uh. I'm good," Frenzy added.

Tilting his head, Soundwave gazed first at one Cassette, then the other. After a long, silent moment, he turned and left.

The Cassettes faced each other. In perfect unison, they said, "Coward."


	13. Repairs and Rain

Title: Transformers: Repairs and Rain  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: Skywarp helps repair Starscream after a failed attack. This is for the flash fan fiction prompt "rain/reign." I went back and forth on which word to use (and had interesting plot bunnies for both), but as I began writing, _this_ came together. My mind goes interesting places with prompts. Word count: 456

* * *

"And where is Thundercracker?" Starscream asked, regarding his companion dubiously over his shoulder.

"Well, Hook and the other Constructicons got pretty banged up, so Megs ordered all the functioning Seekers to help in the repair bay, seeing as we're more agile than most," Skywarp cheerfully replied while examining his leader's back.

"Figures." The Air Commander grimaced, his gaze sweeping the canyon they hid in. The rest of the Decepticons, including his fellow Seekers, had fled after a failed attack. However, Starscream's wings had sustained damage, rendering him incapable of flight. The others had "forgotten" him here, probably on orders from Megatron. He was left to repair himself; nearly an impossible task, since he couldn't properly reach his injured wings. He'd struggled with that chore until his trine mate had returned. "If you snuck away, surely Thundercracker could have as well? I'd rather have him work on my wings."

"See, the thing is, Hook told me if I ever tried to 'help' in the repair bay again, he'd remove my head and let the Combaticons use it as target practice. No thanks." Skywarp leaned forward to examine the injuries.

"This is not raising my confidence in your repair skills."

"It wasn't my fault! I saw a broken seam on Reflector's alt mode. I welded it together. How was I supposed to know that was where they separated?" Skywarp waved his hand around in a dismissive gesture.

Starscream smirked at the thought. Abruptly, he looked over his shoulder at the other Seeker. "You're not welding anything on _me_, are you?"

"I know Seekers and wings. I'm not messing you up." The teleporter snorted. "This would be easier if Megs had let us take you home. There's no supplies here."

"Our 'mighty leader' undoubtedly enjoys inconveniencing me. And aggravating me. Leaving me in pain. Oh, and reminding me who is 'in command.'" Starscream sneered at the thought.

"Yeah, he rains with an iron fist."

"What?" Starscream glanced back. "I don't think you said that right."

"It's a human thing," Skywarp clarified, ignoring his leader's resulting snort. "Translate it to the human language, English. It's something they say."

"Rain is liquid precipitation, and has nothing to do with appendages, regardless if they're made of metal or not."

"I think it has to do with leaders beating people with iron gloves. They hit them a lot, like rain, and the gloves form fists. So, rain of iron fists. Get it?"

"That still doesn't seem right." Starscream shook his head.

"We can ask TC. He'd know." Skywarp shrugged. "Anyway, almost done with your wings. Just one … more … wire … Oops! I can fix that!"

* * *

True story: Skywarp's last five words are actually something I heard from my dentist. As he was drilling my teeth, he says that to his assistant. Excuse me?!


	14. He of the Confusing Pronouns

Title: Transformers: He of the Confusing Pronouns  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: There's one Decepticon who always seems to get the proverbial short stick. In a couple of my own stories, I noticed I too was "picking" on him. So he seemed the perfect subject when the theme "underestimate" came up for the flash fan fiction. Word count 446

* * *

Thundercracker paused just inside the entrance to Starscream's lab, an all too familiar scene playing out before him.

"What's the big deal?" Skywarp asked.

"The 'big deal' is your inability to foresee the consequences of your actions. Think – if you can – of whom we're speaking." Arms crossed, Starscream glowered at his trine mate.

Thundercracker considered leaving. Intervening in their (constant) squabbles caused him numerous processor aches, not to mention more than a few double shifts – a downside of stepping into his commanding officer's business, when said officer didn't want him to. However, there was a decent chance he'd be dragged in later, either by Skywarp complaining to him or Starscream ordering him to monitor their trine mate. Regardless, he'd prefer to know exactly what was going on and not rely on either of their bias retelling of events.

He settled on leaning against the wall, arms crossed, unconsciously mimicking his trine leader.

"I know who we're talking about. And it's no big deal." Skywarp shrugged.

"He's a spy. Don't antagonize him. Them. Whatever."

"Why?"

"And who?" Thundercracker spoke up.

"Reflector. Screamer's got his wires all tangled up over him. Or them. Can you believe it?"

"Don't call me that!"

"Reflector? Really?" Thundercracker glanced between his wing mates.

"Surely I needn't explain logic to you, too?" Starscream glared hard at him. When Thundercracker did not reply, he shook his head. "Idiots. Reflector is a spy. He – they – spy. That's his means of revenge. They're also one mind split into three bodies. By nature, he thinks in threes. We're a trine. Three. If they – he, _whatever!_ – decides to take revenge on Skywarp, by spying, they'll come after all three of us. I don't want him watching me as well."

"You're paranoid," Skywarp said.

"Shut up."

Thundercracker held up his hand, stalling his leader. "Soundwave watches _everything_. But you don't seem worried about that."

"Because I notice him. I can anticipate him. I don't see Reflector. He just … blends into the background. It's like they're not there." The Air Commander shook his head in frustration.

"Here's a thought," Skywarp started.

"You thought? A first." Starscream interrupted.

"Ha. Ha. Funny. Anyway, if you weren't always doing stuff you shouldn't, maybe you wouldn't be so paranoid."

The Air Commander narrowed his optics. "Another thought: if you mute your vocals more, you'd get shot less. Consider that. Carefully."

"Just saying."

"Don't."

Thundercracker shook his head, smiling. "It's not going to happen. I think 'Warp's vocals charge his power supply. If they ever stopped, he'd cease functioning."

* * *

Afterword: The little confusion of the pronouns comes from my own tendency not to know exactly which one to use with Reflector. So, I couldn't resist throwing that in. I'm sure these characters have figured out long ago how to refer to him/them. Also, TC needs to get the last word more.


	15. The Blame Game

Title: Transformers: The Blame Game  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This is for the Flash Fan Fiction Friday theme "communication." I meant to show how someone can twist words and meaning when speaking. I have to admit, I'm not sure if this one's funny. I just had a few stressful days, and I'm not sure if I was in the proper mood, or did the humor well. I hope this is okay. I also cut almost a hundred words to lower the word count to below 300. Word count: 295

* * *

"Thundercracker!" The snappish voice resounded through Starscream's quarters.

The blue Seeker jerked his attention from his cleaning – and the strange goopy mess that covered almost everything – to the glaring Air Commander. Behind their leader, Skywarp snickered. Trying to sound nonchalant, Thundercracker said, "Yes?"

"Am I disturbing you, _Skywarp_?" Starscream snarled, still staring straight at Thundercracker.

Skywarp stopped giggling. "Uh, Screamer? I'm Skywarp."

"Do. Not. Call. Me. That!" The Air Commander clenched his fists. Turning back to Thundercracker, he continued, "He must be you. Only you're so idiotic as to ignore me."

"Hey!"

"Sorry. I _was_ listening. But … well, you weren't discussing anything important." The blue Seeker shrugged.

"I am your Air Commander! You will heed me."

"My apologies. I just didn't realize you wanted my attention while you bickered."

"I don't 'bicker.' It was a clear and logical explanation of the relevant facts."

"It wasn't me!" Skywarp interrupted, gesturing to the mess. "Frenzy and Rumble did this!"

"I have yet to hear any convincing evidence of that. Now, clean my quarters up!" With that, the tri-colored Seeker stormed out.

Thundercracker grimaced but didn't protest his innocence. Starscream never concerned himself with fairness, especially if someone set off, to use Skywarp's words, "a goop bomb" in his room. The Air Commander was determined to punish anyone nearby. Sadly, that included Thundercracker.

Once their trine leader left, Skywarp resumed giggling. "Primus, I don't remember the last time you ignored Screamer."

"I wouldn't have, if you hadn't done … this." Thundercracker gestured at the mess.

"Hey! I said I didn't do it!"

"Really. So how did Frenzy and Rumble get past the alarms?"

"I never said I didn't teleport them in."


	16. Fair Play

Title: Transformers: Fair Play  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This is for the flash fan fiction theme, the prefix "re." Starscream gets a little tired of Skywarp's constant pranks and takes a bit of revenge on him. Word count 271

* * *

"Done!" Skywarp announced proudly, and not with a bit of relief, gesturing to the waste chute behind him. The pipe, both inside and out, gleamed in a state of perfect cleanliness that could only be described as 'immaculate.' A small yellow "In Maintenance" light flickered off, reopening the chute for general use.

Starscream, leaning against the wall and scanning a data pad, did not glance up. "Wait," he said.

"Oh, c'mon, I'm finished! Just–"

"Quiet." The Air Commander, still not looking up, held up a hand to stall him. "I said, wait."

The teleporter let out a long-suffering groan, and crossed his arms. Tapping his fingers with enough force to crush small objects, he waited. And glared. After a few moments, he sighed loudly. Starscream ignored him, continuing to read.

Above, they heard the 'snick' of an electronic hatch opening and closing, immediately followed by the swooshing sound of the waste chute's vacuum system and its cargo. Skywarp glanced at the maintenance hatch in growing horror and listened to the trash get sucked through his once-pristine cleaning assignment.

"Okay," Starscream said with a smile. "Now, I'll check."

"What? No. Someone just dumped something! It's not clean anymore!"

"Not my problem," the Air Commander said. "You were assigned to clean this pipe until it passes _my_ inspection. You will clean it, and re-clean it, as many times as necessary."

"That's not fair!"

All signs of mirth vanished from Starscream's face. "Then perhaps you'll remember to leave me, my quarters, my belongings and anything else pertaining to me, out of your pranks in the future."


	17. Light Up the Night

Title: Transformers: Light up the Night  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This is for the Flash Fan Fiction theme "explosions" (a late tribute to July 4th). I don't normally write these particular characters, but I hope you enjoy them. Word count 291.

* * *

The explosions lit up the dark sky, the staccato booms racing shortly after. One bled right into another, and then another, an endless cacophony. The strobe effect illuminated three mechanoid shapes on a nearby bluff. The Autobots, battle-worn from a war that had destroyed their own home, watched the display warily, but did not interfere. One, with "POLICE" emblazoned across his door wings, continually glanced between the explosions and a handheld scanner, scowling.

"Stop that, Prowl," Jazz said. "You're missing the show."

"I have seen countless explosions–"

"Fireworks."

"– in my existence. I do not see how 'missing' these will be any loss. What concerns me is the fact that many of the human settlements in this nation are having similar explosive displays. It provides perfect cover for a Decepticon attack."

"My friend," the tallest member of the group, Optimus Prime, said, "diligence is to be commended. But you are allowed to relax, occasionally, as well. We are observing this event in honor of our human hosts."

"Besides," Jazz broke in, "you have Red Alert to be paranoid for you."

Prowl fixed a level stare at Jazz, unimpressed. He shifted his gaze to his leader, then to his scanner. "Very well. In honor of our human hosts, I will endeavor to watch more of their misuse of explosive materials. I will still be on guard."

"I would expect nothing less," Optimus said, smiling. He looked back at the display. "It is curious. The humans have taken materials traditionally used for war, for killing, added color and design to them, and now use them for celebration. The end result is visually pleasing to behold."

"Why, Prime," Jazz said, "did you just call those fireworks pretty?"


	18. A Matched Set

Title: Transformers: A Matched Set  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This is for the Flash Fan Fiction Friday theme "colors." Pretty self explanatory. Word count: 352

* * *

"Think of it! It'd be –" Skywarp began, arms held wide as he pictured a glorious image only he could see.

"Stupid?" Thundercracker interrupted.

"Seconded," Starscream said, not glancing up from his monitor.

"C'mon! It's just a color scheme! A lot of the other units have matching colors, like the Constructicons. Why not us?"

"Oh, yes, brilliant example. I want to emulate such wonderful specimens as Bonecrusher and Scavenger." The Air Commander waved his hand dismissively.

"Hey, lemme finish. And I wasn't even talking to you," Skywarp said, glancing back at his trine leader. "Anyway, as I was saying, we nee–"

The tri-colored Seeker held up his hand. "Stop saying. Listen. You're proposing a change to the trine, to all of us. If adopted, we would all conform to this – and I hesitate to label _anything_ that comes from your processor as such – idea. I am trine leader. I am also Air Commander of the Decepticon army. As trine leader, any changes to our trine must be approved by me. As Air Commander, any changes to the Seekers that could affect military performance must come through me. So, how could you possibly _not_ be talking to me?"

"How do our colors affect our battle performance?" Skywarp asked, ignoring the question.

"Not our performance. Everyone else's, as they suffer stasis lock from intense laughter."

"I dont know," Thundercracker said. "Laughter-induced stasis might work against the Autobots. Here's another question: exactly which colors do you think we should all paint ourselves?"

"That's easy," Skywarp said, grinning. He turned to his leader. "Sorry, but let's face it, mostly white is kinda boring." Ignoring the Air Commander's indignant snort, he glanced at Thundercracker. "And blue's nice and all, but when we're flying, it just blends into the sky. So, I think the choice is pretty clear." The teleporter gestured to his own black and purple finish.

"Of course," Thundercracker broke in, smiling, "seeing how you admire them so much, it's no surprise you want to chose the Constructicon's purple and green."


	19. Fun and Games

Title: Transformers: Fun and Games  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This is for the Flash Fan Fiction Friday theme "game(s)." I almost wrote a fanfic for the game I mention, but this popped in my head. Word count: 460

* * *

As Thundercracker approached Skywarp's quarters, he heard a muffled, high-pitched voice raise in anger. Not even the solid metal of the door could soften the shrill tone of _that _one's vocals. He shook his head. What had 'Warp done this time, to get Starscream so worked up?

The door slid open.

Starscream strode out, still snarling over his shoulder, "– should deactivate you due to your obvious defective nature. Clearly, your processor is malfunctioning beyond belief if you believed, for even the slightest instant, that I'd be interested in that, that … _thing!" _The Air Commander briefly glanced at Thundercracker and spat out, "He's an idiot!" before continuing his tirade while stomping away, "I want that off the system. Purged! Wiped clean! It's inane and stupefying. You can't afford any further impairments to the pile of slag you call a processor. You … " His vocals faded as he turned the corner and moved out of audio range.

Skywarp, leaning against the entrance to his quarters, said, "Wanna bet he keeps griping until he gets to where ever he's grumping off to?"

"No bet. What did you do this time?"

"Well, he looked a bit grumpy, so I decided to cheer him up."

Thundercracker glanced down the hall where their leader had disappeared. "Good job."

"It was just a game." Skywarp shrugged.

"What game?" the blue Seeker asked, narrowing his optics.

"I found it on the computer."

"The _Nemesis'_ computer?" Thundercracker shook his head. "Megatron and Soundwave aren't known for their game collections."

"It's on our computer … _now_."

"'Warp, if you've downloaded a virus –"

"I didn't! It's a real game. It has, like, ten million people play– ah, um …"

"People?"

Skywarp glanced away. "… _humans_ playing it."

"You tried to get Starscream to play a human game? You really are an idiot."

"But I made his character one of the races that don't like humans! So he could kill them! Did he care? No. Look at this. See?" Skywarp gestured over to his monitor. Sighing, Thundercracker followed. On the screen, a computer animated blue-skinned, red-haired bipedal creature stood, waiting for instructions.

Intrigued despite himself, Thundercracker asked, "What is that thing? It's not any species I recognize."

"Well, in this game, you can choose from two 'factions.' Humans, and a bunch of others, are 'Alliance.' Knowing Starscream wouldn't like that, I went with the 'Horde,' which are orcs, undead – and I don't know how something can be dead, but not – a couple of others, and these guys. This guy was perfect for Starscream, seeing how he's always picking fights and being a big pain." Skywarp smiled at his trine mate. "He's a troll."

* * *

Internet cookies for those who know which game they were referring to. ;)


	20. Beautiful Creation

Title: Transformers: Beautiful Creation  
Universe: G1  
Pairings: None  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Author's Note: This is for the Flash Fan Fiction Friday theme "create." This is not my normal humor story. I'm feeling cruddy right now, and this is what I come up with. Maybe I shouldn't write while sick. Word Count: 439

* * *

Starscream leaned back, a tight grin across his face. Three computer screens displayed rows and rows of formulas while a fourth scrolled through equations at a rapid pace. A holographic display diagrammed a three dimensional model of a complex molecule. The digital representation spun, allowing him to view it from any angle he desired. The various atoms and chemical bonds were color coded, forming an unique octodecimal spectrum. Beautiful.

His grin slipped into a smirk.

It worked. He'd ran over a thousand simulations, with only a 0.03% variance in results. Success. He had never doubted his eventual triumph. This miracle, this work of art, had taken over a vorn of stolen moments to complete. He had precious little free time. War had a tendency of eating up a mech's attention.

He remembered that offhand conversation, that vorn ago. Thundercracker – scientific illiterate that he was – had commented that some insignificant planet the Decepticons had just slagged was incapable of recovering, of ever supporting life again. It almost sounded as if the blue Seeker was … remorseful. Absurd. Disregarding his subordinate's odd tone, Starscream had insisted that since they had merely poisoned the environment and not caused any damage on a planetary scale, he could, given time and resources, develop a counter agent. Considering all the indigenous life had been terminated, all such an action would accomplish would be allow life to slowly return to that planet over the course of thousands of vorns. Thundercracker had shook his head at this.

Here Starscream was, the proof splayed before him.

He doubted Thundercracker even remembered that conversation. Nor would that one even understand what he was looking at. But Starscream proved he'd been right. It was beautiful. The complexities, how perfectly the atoms synchronized, it was glorious. No one here would – no, _could_ – see that.

His own trine mates didn't have the mental capacities, one noticeably more lacking than the other. Megatron would undoubtedly punish him for wasted time if he ever found this. Shockwave would understand the formula, but not see any value in it, since it lacked any offensive capabilities. No one here would see anything but a waste.

Skyfire would love it.

Starscream's smirk vanished. His old partner would love it. The shuttle – the _traitor_ – would see all the wonderful complexities, and know how perfect they were, how beautiful. He'd recognize the power inherent in that molecule. It held the future of a planet in its bonds. Skyfire would see that. He would love it.

Starscream clenched his fist. With a vicious button flick, he deleted the file and all its backup data.


End file.
